My co-pilot, Eric (whom I regularly call Enrico Palazzo after the opera singer from the movie ‘Naked Gun’ who saves the Queen), on occasion, comes up an idea that causes the following reaction… “Um. OK.”

One such idea (a few months ago) was to call our rickshaw… “Sphinctre” (the spelling was, obviously, a tribute to the infamous evil organization in the world of James Bond, SPECTRE).

Not quite satisfied that his ingenuous name was “quite there”, and after further deliberation, he decided upon… “Sphinctre Spasm”. To which, I replied, “Um. OK.”

Thankfully, Enrico Palazzo has a wife, Jenmon (whom I regularly call Dr. J). This wonderful being rather fortuitously pointed out that part of our journey is to raise money for Shadhika, a charity which supports young, at-risk women in India by paying for their education. Furthermore, Shadhika might not be totally overjoyed that a rickshaw named “Sphinctre Spasm” was traipsing across India to raise money for its cause.

Alas, we settled on calling our rickshaw “Rogue Naan”, in homage to both the latest Star Wars movie (“Rogue One”) and the famous Indian bread (naan) that never ceases to expand in your stomach once you’ve eaten it (unless, of course, you have a “sphinctre spasm”, in which case said bread is quickly released back into the environment).

Today, all race participants were given a day to learn how to drive their rickshaws and also to “pimp out our rides”.

Several months ago, we were all requested to submit a design that could be painted by local artists onto our rickshaws. Today’s “pimping” entailed adding additional features. Some people added stereo speakers, fans, loud horns, inflatable dolls… (yes, one crew from England attached an inflatable doll to the front of their rickshaw).

While we were pimping out our ride, I noticed a group of Dutch guys nearby with a rickshaw that didn’t seem to match “them”.

Throughout the day, I pretended not to notice. If that’s how they wanted to “pimp out” their rickshaw, it’s all good.

By late afternoon, I cracked. I could resist no further… “Dude, what’s up with your rickshaw?”

“Yeah… we had submitted a really cool African safari design to be painted on it, but our friends hacked our team page and changed the design to this…”, he pointed (reluctantly) to their rickshaw.

Across the front of their rickshaw were two matching Hello Kitty’s. Along one side was a rainbowed unicorn and on the other side were three My Little Ponies (the artwork was exceptional).  (photo 4 above)

When these guys arrived in India yesterday, they were all psyched to drive their “Safari Mobile” across India and now… they will be driving the “Hello Kitty Mobile” (complete with a rainbowed unicorn and My Little Ponies painted along the sides). Tough start.

For us, it goes without saying there can only be two names for the pilots of a vessel named “Rogue Naan”… Naan Solo and Chewie Naan. We have consequently been required to not only transform our intrepid rickshaw, but also… ourselves.

Enrico Palazzo shall heretofore be called Chewie Naan and he will wear the official plastic Chewbacca Electronic Mask, as seen in the “Laughing Chewbacca Mask Lady” YouTube video. Said mask has “movie-like appearance” and allows the wearer to open her/his mouth to activate the laugh of Chewie. The manufacturers officially claim that one can: “Strike fear into the heart of scum and villainy across the galaxy with the first-ever Chewbacca Electronic Mask.”

It is unclear how the mask will be received throughout India, but I assume this will be the least of our challenges.

I, for my part, will wear a semi-official, mostly imitation Han Solo vest with matching holster (complete with Han Solo blaster water pistol) and a t-shirt that says “Naan Solo”. I will also wear a white turban because, when we break down and are desperate for help, I want the good people of India to know they can talk to at least one of us.

And thus, tomorrow morning at 9:00am, we will embark upon our 3,000 kilometer journey armed with 2 plastic retractable light sabers, 1 Han Solo blaster water pistol fully capable of lightly spritzing water up to 17.3 inches, 1 electronic Chebacca mask, 1 used rickshaw guaranteed to break down on average twice a day and, finally, eternal faith that someone will pop out from behind a bush holding the exact part we need to fix the rickshaw each and every time we break down.